Birth story part 2

Wednesday 26th of December.

Ten minutes before noon, the nurse attached a weight to my ‘uterus balloon’. It didn’t stay in for long as it fell out after a couple of minutes. At first we thought my waters broke, but it hadn’t.

They decided to give me shots every second hour which would help the contractions begin.
We went for small strolls in between shots…patiently waiting.
But Jake and I were in bed by 10pm as not much was happening.
Another batch of sleeping pills and acupuncture. Fell a sleep straight away.

Thursday 27th of December.

I woke up at 01.16am with very slight pain in my uterus. So decided to stay in bed, thinking and listening to hypno birthing music which settled me and allowed me to relax.

Nearing 03.30am, the small pains I was having were beginning to get stronger. It was at that time I woke Jake up to tell him ‘I think it’s happening’.

Soon after 04.00am I rang through to the midwife to let her know what was happening or if she could tell me what was happening! Have my waters broke or have I pee’d my pants.
04:45am, more morphine to ease the pain, can’t recall so much from around this time. With the real pain kicking in and the morphine running through my veins my head was all over the place.

I’m so happy I practised my breathing techniques, helped me a lot through this time. By 05.00am I was 6cm open…
As 05.50am came, we were transferred from the ‘holding room’, which we had been staying in for 3 nights, into the delivery suite. Game on.

I asked for laxative and spent some time in the shower. Warm water and some laughing gas took my mid off things for 10 minutes. Contractions were growing stronger! Exciting but painful!!

….Just breathe….in and out….each deep breath was taking us one step closer to meeting our son.
….Thank you and goodbye pain – that’s what was going through my mind after each and every contraction. Small, positive steps forward.
I changed positions often, sitting up, laying down, on my knees, pilates ball and standing up.

Thinking of it, laughing gas was very nice during the heights of each contraction. Once it took me right back to Thailand, dancing on the beach, partying with laughing gas balloons. ( could it been 2012 ?)

8am – 8cm open
We had one spotify playlist playing throughout the whole morning –
Breathe Work 4.0 a playlist made by my friend Michelle Baker.
I always listen to this playlist when I’m working at home or doing yoga.
So relaxing, my kind of focus music. Can highly recommend having your favourite music with you whilst giving birth.

Jake bought me smoothies and coconut water, but the smoothie gave me heart burn straight away. So it was coconut water for me! Which is super good because coconut water contains natural electrolytes.

-right here me and Sara were talking about social media. hahah!
The good and the bad things…

By 9am the doctor came to give me a spinal injection, I was 9cm open by that time. The spinal injection helped so much and it made the contractions less powerful. I had to keep my eye on the screen to see when I hit the hight of the contraction. It was hard knowing otherwise.

The boll once again. I’m smiling. ha! well done gurl.

By 10am I was fully open and now it was time to push…for real.
Always changing positions in the morning, it was kinda nice as it gave me new strength.
Sara the midwife was so great, she really pushed me, kept me positive
along the way.
Jacob was incredible to, so encouraging and stood by my side all day.

I hope I wasn’t to harsh in my most painful moments, I can’t remember now? Few times I thought he was too slow with giving me the gas, hahaha! I’m so blessed having such an amazing man by side. Love you the longest time!

The time was passing and unfortunately baby Finn didn’t move down. His head was facing the wrong way to which it should be, so he made it almost impossible for me to push him out. We didn’t give up just yet, I pushed as hard as I could but nothing happened.
Few hours later I was exhausted, very exhausted… but I didn’t wanna say anything and Sara was so good at encouraging me to keep strong.

By 1.30pm it was time to pause, the doctor came once again and this time he gave me an epidural. Ouch! it was very hard because I had contractions coming at the same time, so laying still was super hard.

We stopped the drip, so no more contractions after a while, it was finally time to rest. But this scared me knowing I was going to go through the labours once more as soon as I gained my strength back.

It passed 3pm already and it was time for a shift change, we welcomed our new midwife Ellinor.
We spoke of our day and what I’ve been experiencing, I felt scared or maybe just exhausted knowing it was all about to start again soon. Ellinor was really sweet, calming and gave me the greatest support.
We tried different positions once again, my favourite was the ‘Norwegian knot’ = me holding a blanket with a knot in the end, pulling my hardest as soon as I got a contraction and the midwife held the blanket the other end. This made me feel very stubborn – come out baby!
Bloody hell I was pushing the (or a) life out of me.
I’ve never been a competitive person but for the first time I felt I was going to win this. Like I had to win this. All I remember hearing Ellinor say was how she could see the head, PUSSSSSSHH !! said and done… on my very last breath!
But there was no chance I could give more. We kept going for some time, sadly the baby’s head didn’t move.

5.30pm the doctor came to see me, he gave me two options:
-‘Sugklocka’ (basically pull the baby out with forceps), it may not work, can deform the babies head and could still be hours away even with that.
ummm….no thanks, I don’t know why but I’m scared of the sugklocka process.
My question was; What’s the second option?
Caesarean. C-Section. Yes, please, now. I burst into tears, finally a chance to see our son for the first time. I was so tired, no words can describe how I felt just there and then. Absolutely shattered. I gave it my all. I was done.

From then on, everything went quickly and I was on my way into the operation room soon after 6pm.
Overwhelmed and appeased.
18.28 he came to us, our boy, Finn Otis JohnJohn Fletcher. Best gift ever.
A perfectly healthy baby boy.

Seeing Jake having him in his arms made my heart explode with love. That single moment is the most beautiful thing I ever experienced.

My body was in shock and I was hyperventilating for few hours after, my muscles had been working hard since early morning. It was finally time to relax.

Best feeling in the world. First time he was lead on my chest.

After the operation I was wheeled back to the delivery room, my body especially my uterus, was very tired and I lost a lot of blood so every 15 minutes the midwife and the nurses had to massage my wound in order to get the uterus back in it’s right position.
Weird feeling having three people massaging my fresh cut, giving me injections, checking my blood pressure was ok etc etc, pretty intense there for a while but all I could feel was love and gratitude.

Finn was with us.

So so happy for our day. Such an indescribable experience, I felt so much love and joy! A big thanks to everyone that looked after us that day.

Jake you gave me plenty of support, thank you for being great! I love you!

I would do it all over again, without a doubt.

Thank you,


The very last day of 2018 Jake and I wandered out the hospital with our baby boy, Finn.
What an ending to an amazing year. 2018 has been so good to me in many ways. Work wise…unbelievably fun and free. Privately…travelling, friends and family, weddings and the rest of it have all made for a special year.
42 weeks of pregnancy has been the best thing though, I was feeling so strong throughout. As Christmas was drawing closer, I felt ready to meet our boy.

Here they are, the two people I love the most. Jake & Finn.
Leaving Varberg hospital, midday Monday, was an unreal feeling for sure.
Came here as two and left here as three. ONE OF LIFES WONDERS.

Super dad already.
Finn outside for the first time.

Jake bought me the most amazing bouquet of flowers, and he gave me a white gold ring encrusted with a black diamond. 

Haven’t had the chance to photo it yet, but it’s stunning, I’ll share photos when everything has settled in a little bit more at home.
I’ve been dreaming of a ring from Mumbai Stockholm for years now.



Everyday has it’s own pace. We are taking everything very slowly. Trying to learn how Finn wants it and must have it. Eat, sleep, poop, repeat basically.
Right now we have such an amazing time together, we are both so in love.
Starring at Finn for hours and showering him in kisses is not hard, he melts our hearts. Can’t believe he’s one week old already!

This time last week he was laying on my chest for the first time.

It was a bit chaotic around us cause I was loosing a bit a blood from the c-section few hours earlier. Thinking of it, the whole day was pure happiness, a lot of strenght, power and (pain off and on) . Breath work really helped me through the day.
Thinking of how great Jake was to support me makes me wheep. Life is so amazing. Giving birth to Finn is the best thing I ever done. Thank you baby for choosing us.

I will write the whole brith story when I feel I have more time on my hands, right now we live in the famous baby bubble of love.

Till next time.


How it all started part 1.


Whilst my memory is fresh I thought to update you guys about our past couple of days here in Varberg hospital.

Sleep deprivation has been the toughest part throughout my pregnancy for sure.
It’s been weeks with next to no sleep and this weekend it has really effected me.
Our Christmas was meant to be spent with my family on the 22nd of December, but there was no chance I had the energy to join in or be part of the day.
On the 21st both Jake and I collected a sleeping tablet from the hospital to help the problem. I was so happy ‘knowing’ that I’d be able to have a full nights sleep and regain some much needed energy. Oh boy.
Another night of, yup, three hours sleep. Exhausted. Woke again at 01.20am, seems to have something special around that time, always twenty past one.
Saturday evening came, they’d given me one more tablet for that night to, so I swallowed that by 10pm.
You guessed it, three more hours…zzz

Sunday was the first time I wanted to check out from my own pregnancy. Had enough, tears were coming and I felt so tired I was beginning to worry.
How on earth could I manage this birth?
Contacted the hospital and she said, ”this is how it is. You are in week 42, you won’t get much more sleep. Try and rest as much as you can.”
She was right – Sunday to Monday ZERO SLEEP.
With my patience running thin, this was certainly not fun anymore. Called again and said I can’t carry on doing this.
Luckily this lady said for us to come in to get some rest and check ups.

My Monday ended up with three sessions of acupuncture, a ‘sleep’ pill, then I finally fell a sleep again, but only for those three magical hours. Stubbornly stayed awake for some time and called on the nurse around 3am. One more go, some new needles and a dose of morphine. Goodnight Mir.

It allowed me to become super relaxed, felt like I was somewhere else. Half the Tuesday blurrily passed by, the morphine’s side effects made me vomit.

Jake went home to pick up some essentials since it going to be a slow day for us.
Nothing to report, other than more waiting.
Talked to the doctor and she said to start the inducement process by Wednesday and explained all the options to us.
After she left, I began thinking and over lunch I decided to get the process started right away.
Not another sleepless night waiting.
May as well be in labour throughout the night instead of lead waiting.

Jakes corner next to my bed. Glad we have our own room.

Said and done.
I had a balloon filled with water placed in my uterus to get my hormones working. A natural way to trick the body and get somewhere without any medication.

Brought my crystal for some luck.

Small contractions in the night but nothing too painful.
More acupuncture before bedtime and one sleeping tablet.
This had been my best sleep since, forever, woke up few times but I dare to say, I probably had 6 hours sleep!

If there were no real contractions by 2pm on wednesday afternoon
I would get a small shot of medicine every second hour that will help the contractions to start and that’s what happend, felt so relaxed, excited and ready. The previous night sleep was truly a game changer.

To be continued…


Ok, lack of sleep is getting to me now. Waking up at 01.20am for days in a row is beginning to make me very tired. Waiting for the alarm to ring for Jake so I can say good morning and wave him off to work. Also we say: hope the baby comes today.

Week 42 is here. Had an appointment with my midwife this Friday, and she organised a visit to the hospital for me to pick up some sleeping tablets,
But, they haven’t helped.
What I need to do every day instead, is to go to bed during the day and force myself to sleep for an hour or however long I can.
Till this day in my life I have never been able to have a nap during the day. I hear the wind, the foot steps, almost zero chance of me sleeping during the day.
That is now history. Life is about to change!

My sleeping pattern now is my new life. This is how it will be, which is ok. I need to adjust and change. Luckily we soon have a baby to love and cuddle through the nights, which I’m looking forward to.

So, yesterday I listened to meditation & hypnobirthing – it helped straight away. 1 hour kip- HALLELUA !
Midwife also said,
Miranda let go of the control of wanting to know. You simply can’t know anything about ‘whats going to happen’ ‘when or if it’s close’ – Trust the process – just be.

I remember back to a couple of years ago, when I went through personal training in Florida, my biggest fear & strongest side : is just what happens if I don’t know all the answers.

I found out there and then in 2014 I had a strong need knowing, and I don’t really enjoy not knowing what’s next. Turns me into a control freak. For some reason, knowing the next step has always been very important for me.
I’m much better now, but hearing my midwife say that and giving me a hug took me straight back to my coach in Florida. Shit I must trust the process. Let go of planing, just be.

Puh – I done what I got told. Went to bed, stayed in bed till I was relaxed enough, listened to meditation… slept for one hour. Said I couldn’t see my sisters family due to being so exhausted. I slept. One step in the right direction anyway.

What I don’t think I will do is to drink a hot chocolate in the middle of the night when waking up, that was the midwife tip!
When you wake up at 03.00am make your self a cup of hot chocolate and go back to sleep!
I couldn’t think of anything worse, SUGAR at 03.00 am? My body would stay awake for 24 hour more with that boozt…

Naaaa I think she meant green tea.

For the first time last night I felt really sick, joint with very bad heart burn.
Tiny feels of contractions but only tiny.
Feeling sick, thought I was one step closer, but he’s still not here. Might have to call this boy Santa.


watermelon belly

Just opened an email saying:
Your baby is now bigger than a watermelon, oh thanks! 
Going into week 42 today. (41+0) 8 days over time. 

With every new day I keep on thinking today is the day,  have not had a single sign yet. Cannot wait.
He’s too cozy in there I guess. 
Our little christmas baby – it’s time now.

Not much to report other than I think I eat to much chocolate, due to the lack of sleep each night. Guess I need the energy, sleeping in the middle of the day don’t work for me. So chocolate has been my treat to get some energy.

For a couple of weeks it has been 3am wake up, but lately around 01.22am ! Way to early!
It’s so weird when I check the time and it’s 01.22 three days in a row. Last night it was 01.26am so not far from it.

Cashmere set from Blankens. Best gift to myself this year.

Today has been a slow one. Been resting most of the day, cleaning a bit, went out for a walk in the afternoon, and still no sign of a baby wanting to come out.
Had a long conversation with Kristin regarding whats gonna happen in 2019. Fun things a head.

I feel excited for whats to come and also very thankful for all your tips and wishes on my instagram – your support means a lot.