The first Semla is the best one.

If you are a Swede the only high light the start of the year is our Semla bun.
It’s a bun filled with almond paste and cream in a bun with a lot of cardomon init.
99% of the swedes loves a semla. Nowadays you can get them with custard, chocolate and all sorts but I prefer the original. Havn’t even tried the other ones accually.


Today we had a walk to the supermarket and when I came home there was a parcel waiting on our door step.
The cutest box with lovely clothes from Newbie. Thank you so much!
Newbie has the best clothes for babies I think.
The print, the colours and it’s 100% organic.
Loved all of it, Finn will look amazing.
It was also an invitation to Newbie x Boråstapeter event in the end of January. But unfortunatly I can’t make it.
Later in February I can show you a collaboration that both of these companies are involved in.

How cute and thoughtful!

Not only Newbie that sent Finn gifts. Mostly all cards is from England, friends and family. The little shoes in the picture is from our neigbours at our summer house in Sanddamm, so so nice of them! once again, so caring of people to send gifts to Finn!
The little bear in the box is from Finn’s friend Fred who’s turning 1 next month I believe, Fred and his mom gave us some much of his clothing couple of months ago too. Thank you Anna for your kindness.

Jakes mum sent us several cards – bless her! The last one was a made one with his name. Cards in England is a big thing. They have shops only with cards. In sweden on the other hand, you can barely find cards more than in the flower shops nowadays.

Back to the semla, I was enjoying this perfect bun with a cup of coffee whilst Finn was sleeping. At 3pm, spot on coffee time!
The first semla is the best semla !

xx

We made it to Varberg

WE MADE IT…to Varberg.
Basically the first time we had been out of the house since coming home from the hospital. The c-section is making day to day life more difficult for sure, and leaving home felt a bit scary but I had to try.
Our first stop was to change some clothing that we bought because little baby Finn was much bigger than size 44.
Sitting in the car and a gentle stroll worked fine, small slow steps, that’s what I need. This was in the beginning of January, was meaning to post this a long time ago but time seems to pass by quicker nowadays…

Varberg is full of beauty, only a little city, but look at Kallbadhuset dressed in the winter sun.

We FaceTimed Jake’s parents as his mum was given a little puppy for Christmas.
Hello Oti!

so cute.


His parents live in Bristol, England I so wish we were closer.
Their support during the whole pregnancy, and now after Finn has arrived has been more than we could of asked for. It means so much.
We talk daily and update each other a lot, especially now when we both have new family members. THANK GOD FOR WIFI!
Many letters and parcels arrive daily with fine gifts to Finn. He’s a spoilt boy already! thank you all so much for thoughts and gifts.
Jake truly has a very loving and thoughtful family.

Finn was behaving perfectly. There was no need to feel worried at all. I managed fine and he did alright too.

Latest news is that Jake is back to work now so it’s me and ‘Finnkel’ against the world. Today I could eat my lunch by the kitchen table, Finn was really happy being in his bed in the kitchen, that’s made my day.

I don’t think I will be able to update my blog more than 1-2 a week for a while. Do you follow me on Instagram? If not you find me here.
It’s easier to update there more often than here…

xx

Birth story part 2

Wednesday 26th of December.

Ten minutes before noon, the nurse attached a weight to my ‘uterus balloon’. It didn’t stay in for long as it fell out after a couple of minutes. At first we thought my waters broke, but it hadn’t.

They decided to give me shots every second hour which would help the contractions begin.
We went for small strolls in between shots…patiently waiting.
But Jake and I were in bed by 10pm as not much was happening.
Another batch of sleeping pills and acupuncture. Fell a sleep straight away.

Thursday 27th of December.

I woke up at 01.16am with very slight pain in my uterus. So decided to stay in bed, thinking and listening to hypno birthing music which settled me and allowed me to relax.

Nearing 03.30am, the small pains I was having were beginning to get stronger. It was at that time I woke Jake up to tell him ‘I think it’s happening’.

Soon after 04.00am I rang through to the midwife to let her know what was happening or if she could tell me what was happening! Have my waters broke or have I pee’d my pants.
04:45am, more morphine to ease the pain, can’t recall so much from around this time. With the real pain kicking in and the morphine running through my veins my head was all over the place.

I’m so happy I practised my breathing techniques, helped me a lot through this time. By 05.00am I was 6cm open…
As 05.50am came, we were transferred from the ‘holding room’, which we had been staying in for 3 nights, into the delivery suite. Game on.

I asked for laxative and spent some time in the shower. Warm water and some laughing gas took my mid off things for 10 minutes. Contractions were growing stronger! Exciting but painful!!

….Just breathe….in and out….each deep breath was taking us one step closer to meeting our son.
….Thank you and goodbye pain – that’s what was going through my mind after each and every contraction. Small, positive steps forward.
I changed positions often, sitting up, laying down, on my knees, pilates ball and standing up.

Thinking of it, laughing gas was very nice during the heights of each contraction. Once it took me right back to Thailand, dancing on the beach, partying with laughing gas balloons. ( could it been 2012 ?)

8am – 8cm open
We had one spotify playlist playing throughout the whole morning –
Breathe Work 4.0 a playlist made by my friend Michelle Baker.
I always listen to this playlist when I’m working at home or doing yoga.
So relaxing, my kind of focus music. Can highly recommend having your favourite music with you whilst giving birth.

Jake bought me smoothies and coconut water, but the smoothie gave me heart burn straight away. So it was coconut water for me! Which is super good because coconut water contains natural electrolytes.

-right here me and Sara were talking about social media. hahah!
The good and the bad things…

By 9am the doctor came to give me a spinal injection, I was 9cm open by that time. The spinal injection helped so much and it made the contractions less powerful. I had to keep my eye on the screen to see when I hit the hight of the contraction. It was hard knowing otherwise.

The boll once again. I’m smiling. ha! well done gurl.

By 10am I was fully open and now it was time to push…for real.
Always changing positions in the morning, it was kinda nice as it gave me new strength.
Sara the midwife was so great, she really pushed me, kept me positive
along the way.
Jacob was incredible to, so encouraging and stood by my side all day.

I hope I wasn’t to harsh in my most painful moments, I can’t remember now? Few times I thought he was too slow with giving me the gas, hahaha! I’m so blessed having such an amazing man by side. Love you the longest time!

The time was passing and unfortunately baby Finn didn’t move down. His head was facing the wrong way to which it should be, so he made it almost impossible for me to push him out. We didn’t give up just yet, I pushed as hard as I could but nothing happened.
Few hours later I was exhausted, very exhausted… but I didn’t wanna say anything and Sara was so good at encouraging me to keep strong.

By 1.30pm it was time to pause, the doctor came once again and this time he gave me an epidural. Ouch! it was very hard because I had contractions coming at the same time, so laying still was super hard.

We stopped the drip, so no more contractions after a while, it was finally time to rest. But this scared me knowing I was going to go through the labours once more as soon as I gained my strength back.

It passed 3pm already and it was time for a shift change, we welcomed our new midwife Ellinor.
We spoke of our day and what I’ve been experiencing, I felt scared or maybe just exhausted knowing it was all about to start again soon. Ellinor was really sweet, calming and gave me the greatest support.
We tried different positions once again, my favourite was the ‘Norwegian knot’ = me holding a blanket with a knot in the end, pulling my hardest as soon as I got a contraction and the midwife held the blanket the other end. This made me feel very stubborn – come out baby!
Bloody hell I was pushing the (or a) life out of me.
I’ve never been a competitive person but for the first time I felt I was going to win this. Like I had to win this. All I remember hearing Ellinor say was how she could see the head, PUSSSSSSHH !! said and done… on my very last breath!
But there was no chance I could give more. We kept going for some time, sadly the baby’s head didn’t move.

5.30pm the doctor came to see me, he gave me two options:
-‘Sugklocka’ (basically pull the baby out with forceps), it may not work, can deform the babies head and could still be hours away even with that.
ummm….no thanks, I don’t know why but I’m scared of the sugklocka process.
My question was; What’s the second option?
Caesarean. C-Section. Yes, please, now. I burst into tears, finally a chance to see our son for the first time. I was so tired, no words can describe how I felt just there and then. Absolutely shattered. I gave it my all. I was done.

From then on, everything went quickly and I was on my way into the operation room soon after 6pm.
Overwhelmed and appeased.
18.28 he came to us, our boy, Finn Otis JohnJohn Fletcher. Best gift ever.
A perfectly healthy baby boy.

Seeing Jake having him in his arms made my heart explode with love. That single moment is the most beautiful thing I ever experienced.

My body was in shock and I was hyperventilating for few hours after, my muscles had been working hard since early morning. It was finally time to relax.

Best feeling in the world. First time he was lead on my chest.

After the operation I was wheeled back to the delivery room, my body especially my uterus, was very tired and I lost a lot of blood so every 15 minutes the midwife and the nurses had to massage my wound in order to get the uterus back in it’s right position.
Weird feeling having three people massaging my fresh cut, giving me injections, checking my blood pressure was ok etc etc, pretty intense there for a while but all I could feel was love and gratitude.


Finn was with us.

So so happy for our day. Such an indescribable experience, I felt so much love and joy! A big thanks to everyone that looked after us that day.

Jake you gave me plenty of support, thank you for being great! I love you!

I would do it all over again, without a doubt.

Thank you,
m

2019

The very last day of 2018 Jake and I wandered out the hospital with our baby boy, Finn.
What an ending to an amazing year. 2018 has been so good to me in many ways. Work wise…unbelievably fun and free. Privately…travelling, friends and family, weddings and the rest of it have all made for a special year.
42 weeks of pregnancy has been the best thing though, I was feeling so strong throughout. As Christmas was drawing closer, I felt ready to meet our boy.

Here they are, the two people I love the most. Jake & Finn.
Leaving Varberg hospital, midday Monday, was an unreal feeling for sure.
Came here as two and left here as three. ONE OF LIFES WONDERS.

Super dad already.
Finn outside for the first time.

Jake bought me the most amazing bouquet of flowers, and he gave me a white gold ring encrusted with a black diamond. 

Haven’t had the chance to photo it yet, but it’s stunning, I’ll share photos when everything has settled in a little bit more at home.
I’ve been dreaming of a ring from Mumbai Stockholm for years now.

 

 

Everyday has it’s own pace. We are taking everything very slowly. Trying to learn how Finn wants it and must have it. Eat, sleep, poop, repeat basically.
Right now we have such an amazing time together, we are both so in love.
Starring at Finn for hours and showering him in kisses is not hard, he melts our hearts. Can’t believe he’s one week old already!

This time last week he was laying on my chest for the first time.


It was a bit chaotic around us cause I was loosing a bit a blood from the c-section few hours earlier. Thinking of it, the whole day was pure happiness, a lot of strenght, power and (pain off and on) . Breath work really helped me through the day.
Thinking of how great Jake was to support me makes me wheep. Life is so amazing. Giving birth to Finn is the best thing I ever done. Thank you baby for choosing us.

I will write the whole brith story when I feel I have more time on my hands, right now we live in the famous baby bubble of love.

Till next time.

xx

How it all started part 1.

hi,

Whilst my memory is fresh I thought to update you guys about our past couple of days here in Varberg hospital.

Sleep deprivation has been the toughest part throughout my pregnancy for sure.
It’s been weeks with next to no sleep and this weekend it has really effected me.
Our Christmas was meant to be spent with my family on the 22nd of December, but there was no chance I had the energy to join in or be part of the day.
On the 21st both Jake and I collected a sleeping tablet from the hospital to help the problem. I was so happy ‘knowing’ that I’d be able to have a full nights sleep and regain some much needed energy. Oh boy.
Another night of, yup, three hours sleep. Exhausted. Woke again at 01.20am, seems to have something special around that time, always twenty past one.
Saturday evening came, they’d given me one more tablet for that night to, so I swallowed that by 10pm.
You guessed it, three more hours…zzz

Sunday was the first time I wanted to check out from my own pregnancy. Had enough, tears were coming and I felt so tired I was beginning to worry.
How on earth could I manage this birth?
Contacted the hospital and she said, ”this is how it is. You are in week 42, you won’t get much more sleep. Try and rest as much as you can.”
She was right – Sunday to Monday ZERO SLEEP.
With my patience running thin, this was certainly not fun anymore. Called again and said I can’t carry on doing this.
Luckily this lady said for us to come in to get some rest and check ups.

My Monday ended up with three sessions of acupuncture, a ‘sleep’ pill, then I finally fell a sleep again, but only for those three magical hours. Stubbornly stayed awake for some time and called on the nurse around 3am. One more go, some new needles and a dose of morphine. Goodnight Mir.

It allowed me to become super relaxed, felt like I was somewhere else. Half the Tuesday blurrily passed by, the morphine’s side effects made me vomit.

Jake went home to pick up some essentials since it going to be a slow day for us.
Nothing to report, other than more waiting.
Talked to the doctor and she said to start the inducement process by Wednesday and explained all the options to us.
After she left, I began thinking and over lunch I decided to get the process started right away.
Not another sleepless night waiting.
May as well be in labour throughout the night instead of lead waiting.

Jakes corner next to my bed. Glad we have our own room.

Said and done.
I had a balloon filled with water placed in my uterus to get my hormones working. A natural way to trick the body and get somewhere without any medication.

Brought my crystal for some luck.

Small contractions in the night but nothing too painful.
More acupuncture before bedtime and one sleeping tablet.
This had been my best sleep since, forever, woke up few times but I dare to say, I probably had 6 hours sleep!

If there were no real contractions by 2pm on wednesday afternoon
I would get a small shot of medicine every second hour that will help the contractions to start and that’s what happend, felt so relaxed, excited and ready. The previous night sleep was truly a game changer.

To be continued…